Jakarta Inter-League Treasurer in Star Deli Shock!!

Posted: July 27, 2011 in Corruption, Expat foibles, Sport

As exclusively revealed by this organ, the treasurer of  the Golfers of Democracy Party (GOD) of President Bapak Jack Coldcall (or BJC as he is almost universally known), fled to Singapore, just hours before the Corruption Eradication Commission (KPK) issued an order revoking his passport and was later seen enjoying dinner in the Raffles Hotel with a number of high profile miscreants and fugitives from justice including Muammed Nazaruddin, Gayus Tambunan and Nunun Nurbaeti.

The apparent reason for the swift and unannounced departure for Singapore of the treasurer, Paddy O’Finnion, was of course believed to be the rumours swirling round about his having received kickbacks on the massive Caddy Accomodation Project (CAP) near the Jagorawi Golf course (JGC), an accusation he was to deny several times before getting on the infamous Air Asia flight to Singapore on July 1st.

As background it is useful to remind ourselves at this point that the position of President of the Jakarta Inter League (JIL) is non-party affiliated, above partisanship and supposed to be independent, however, BJC chose after his election to remain a Patron of GOD, a decision he may very well now be regretting.

For those of your reeling under the barrage of three letter acronyms, or TLAs as we call them, now might be a very good time to take a seat and ask the office boy for a glass of cold water for, as you will see, it is not going to get any better , though in the interim perhaps this diagram will help.

After O’Finnions departure, powers within GOD, and with the backing of its Patrons it’s believed. took steps to discredit O’Finnion and disassociate him from the party, firstly by removing him as treasurer and then by excluding him from GOD membership entirely.

It was then that O’Finnion got really pissed off at GOD and started a BBM and SMS based campaign making accusations against, amongst others, GOD party chairman Ananas Urbanlegenda, alleging that not only had Urbanlegenda and others shared in the proceeds of the kickbacks from CAP contractor, PT Amplop Coklat, but that he, Urbanlegenda, had used his share to bribe other members of GOD so as to secure his own election as Chairman.

In a dramatic further escalation, O’Finnion last week appeared on Jakarta based MetroTV via Skype Video call, repeating his allegations against Urbanlegenda and adding that it was Ananas who had told him to “go to Singapore and stay there for three years until a regime change is complete” and going on to accuse KPK Deputy Chairman Chade Raharja, an unnamed KPK Director and PDI-Tee Set Chairman Rich Whymeman of being part of the conspiracy. This was to be quickly followed by the KPK banning most of O’Finnions business associates, family and a barmaid from Star Deli from leaving the country, while still refusing to investigate his allegations unless and until he returns to Jakarta .

O'Finnions favourite

We can now exclusively reveal that O’Finnion has in fact revisited Jakarta on several occasions and NottheJakartaPost was able to interview him by phone on one of those occasions when he said, “I’m staying in that apartment over the Star Deli that the PDI-Tee Set boys use, I just couldn’t face another three years without a round at Permata Sentul and a caddy or two.”

We know for sure he was there in the Star Deli (SD) because we could definitely hear the voice of Dewi, his favourite barmaid, as she delivered another draft Guinness from downstairs.

BJC is now believed to be encouraging Ananas to jump before he is pushed, presumably by the KPK, in the hope that ditching him will improve his own image which remains “honest but motionless” according to a recent public opinion poll by Golf Weekly.

Months behind schedule

With all the distractions, the “Caddy Shack in the Sky” (CSIK) is running months behind schedule and is unlikely to be available for its initial planned use as accommodation for the upcoming South East Asian Games (SEA Games).

Ananas when asked to suggest what the future might have in store for O’Finnion thought that “a meeting with my unlubricated 8-iron was certainly on the agenda”, while BJC when asked how he would best characterise the current situation suggested, rather cryptically but not untypically we thought, “Golf with Indonesian characteristics” and refused to be pressed further.

Finally, long time PDI-Tee Setter, Grumpy McGreedy told our reporter at Palm Hills GC today that, “they’re all thieving bastards, we just want to play golf, man”. Well, you’ve got that right, Grumpy. Amen.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Holy shit Batman, SD has draft Guinness now?

    • Dear Anonymous, indeed it does, however, the tap and indeed the barrel and dedicated cooler were put in entirely at Pak Paddy’s expense – and intended for his own personal use.

      You might however chance your arm and ask Dewi for one and bung her 20,000, Paddy is not always there of course.


  2. Rich says:

    Grumpy on the course today? Said he was going to the office but I guess this might in fact be the truth.

    • Rich, the report was in fact written yesterday which means that today has to be time-shifted with the result that Grumpy played yesterday in today’s terms …. however, all comments are subject also to the advice on our publishing philosophy to be found at the top right of this organ …

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